Crossing Focusing and sexuality

Why is there no Focusing orientation in sexual therapy?

How come felt senses in the pelvic area appear so rarely in the natural flow of the Focusing process?

What do we need to know as facilitators when our Focusing partner or client is in touch with a felt sense in the genital area or with sexual issues?

These questions and more led me to explore the crossing between Focusing and sexuality.

As a sexual, and curious person, I started focusing alone on my sexuality-related issues. When I realize the beautiful way it worked, I then invited students and friends to experience personal process. At this point I discovered two contradictory things:
1. Focusing on sexual issues it simple and natural
2. The sexual field holds 'transparent' forces. It is everything but simple, and it is important to recognize and know how to work with it before moving to the therapeutic clinic.

Since then, over the last six years I mastered these points in two arrears:
In the clinic
1. Allowing FS to be felt in the genitals and pelvic area
2. Meeting therapeutic issues threw focusing on it

With focusing groups
1. The three circles of meeting focusing and sexuality: a. meeting my inner sexual parts b. interaction in the bedroom c. my desire and the world
2. Resources definition
3. Learning about the facilitators side: what is supporting me while touching sexual issues, where my boundaries lies, how do I deal with sexual tension or embarrassment during the session etc.
4. Combining work with texts, family constellation, art, writing, WBF and a lot of partnership focusing – knowing most of the shifts needs intimacy and time.
5. Since the original workshop placed on onely six separated sessions, I invite the group to focus at home (telephone pairs) and deepen their personal process.

Today, after given many hours at the clinic and studio learning the best way to be with embarrassment, shame, guilt and pain – on the whey to contact a sexual FS, I know my instincts was right: focusing and sex is a match made in heaven.
Meanwhile, I never stopped focusing on my own sexual issues, and going to therapists and teachers who can assist my learning.

What I know by now is that excluding a whole part of the body from our attention, makes the next step unhole. While including the genitals, pelvic FS or sexual issues makes the shift deeper, and the process more complete. We can't underestimate the significance of the process related to sexuality on the whole body. And it is time to be bold about it.

 

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